ADVENTURE TIME 2012!!

Alright friends! I have decided to make a blog about my Road Trip I won't be able to update it often, because there is no such thing as the internets in the depths of the wilderness. However,! I am keeping a journal and most of what is in it I will be copying into this internet journal for all your lovely eyes (if there are any lovely eyes.) Ill probably add some bits and pieces of things I forgot, or was way to exhausted to write down at the moment, and I will most definitely be omitting somethings that are for my eyes only, and/or for the people who know me well enough to understand my crazed thoughts!

Some background info on my road trip. I was originally going to do a road trip around the US beginning at the end of July, but things happened, and I get to go to Indianapolis to help my very favorite band make a movie! So I shall be doing the first leg of my road trip out to Indianapolis and while I am there I will be making short little trips to various states, so that when I leave there I can do one final sweep and see all of the continental US within the next year, and visit as many amazing national parks as possible along the way.
A few people ask me "Why are you going alone?" and to them I say 2 things!
1. No one wants to or can go with me on that crazy of an adventure (even when it was just a road trip without the extended stay in Indy)
and
2. I don't want anyone to come with me! If someone wanted to come for a little leg I'd be ok with that, and I would like that very much around my birthday time, and a few other choice parts of the year, but for the most part I need to get away from people for a while.

You can skip over this part and over to I LOVE MONTANA (the next post) if you would rather just hear adventure stories and not the things I have learned in life leading up to this trip.

I really really need to get away from people! I feel like I have learned this lesson over and over, and with each failed friendship or relationship I keep telling myself "hey next time I won't be so stupid, I won't let people get to me so much," but it seems like a couple times a year I get hit hard by the shittyness of human beings. I am in no way perfect, and I know I've hurt peoples feelings, but I honestly think that for the most part I am a pretty nice, caring, and generous person. I do not feel most people I have met are even capable of being as nice and awesome as I want them to be. Without going into any detail and complaining too much I will just say I am tired of people being mean, telling me I expect to much, walking all over me, being completely self obsessed, and just flat out horrible . SOOO I have decided to try and completely detach myself for a while. I don't expect anything of people anymore, at all. In fact I expect them to let me down, and I have found that when they do it hurts a lot less! There are of course amazingly great people in my life! I've got an awesome handful of real friends and all the negative things I could ever say about the human race do not even come close to explaining my family, because they are quite literally the most awesome, and best people in the whole world!
This whole detaching thing and expecting people to suck is really working out. People are still as ignorant, rude, and stupid as before, but I haven't let it bother me in the last month or 2. There have been a few points, where I think "What am I doing? This means I will never have the friends I want to have or a boyfriend (if I ever want one again) that is nice in the way that I want him to be." Then I remind myself that there are great people out there, and I am not going to settle for shitty friends or a stupid hurtful significant other. All this detachment means is that I don't have the time and energy to waste at this point in my life trying to make people treat me the way I want to be treated. I will just accept people for who they are for now, and WHEN I meet the good people I can let them in the way I used to let everyone in.
WOW OK! SO in the months leading up to me leaving Seattle, not many people took the time to say good bye or even ask for an itinerary of my trip, although I absolutely went out of my way to tell everyone, because my trip is fucking awesome! Anyway there were a few work friends, who are now not work friends, but real friends, who I spent a lot of time with, and whom I love sooo so much! There were a few house friends, and there were just 1 or 2 others that I was sad to leave behind. Everyone else I have said goodbye to in a more final way than I think they understand. When I chose to visit Seattle in the future, I will absolutely not spend time with the people who I now consider my past, but I will most likely be found drinking Whiskey and eating fries at Unicorn/Narwhal with the people I don't ever plan to let out of my life.
Although I have come to look at life the way I do, all on my own, there was definitely one lovely lady who helped put my feelings into words. Erin you helped me realize that it is strong instead of weak to ask people to acknowledge me when I need them, and to let the others go. You also helped me realize that I can still keep people that aren't that great in my life, but hold them at a distance. It seems like such common sense, but I never did it.
Alright with all that said! I left Seattle on June 30th without a tear!! WHAT?! and for those of you who know me well I cry all the god damn time, so this is crazy.